QA话题：我是一个内向的人，我可以做些什么来改善我的社交生活？

Sree Padmanabhan Vijayan
Socialising will be easier at School or College. It will be harder if you're at work, for the simple reason that everyone is busier out of college. It is still doable, though.
This will not be a walk in the park. There will be times when you feel awkward or uncomfortable. Understand that this is a process of change, and be willing to change. Stop complaining.
Spend time with people who are good at socialising. You are the average of your five friends. If your friends are shy, you will be shy too. If your friends are outgoing, you will turn into one over time.
Have a hobby which involves unleashing your creativity. Creative people are better conversationalists.
Learn the art of asking questions and leading a conversation. It involves listening to the other person when he/she is talking. With time, you will get better at it.
Don't place people on pedestals. When you think of people as just people and not exotic species, holding conversations become easier.
Wear clothing which makes you confident. It need not be expensive or foreign.
There are a billion self-help books on the interwebs which break down the principles of social interactions and confidence hacks.

在学校或大学里，社交会比较容易，如果你工作了，就会更难，原因很简单，每个人在毕业后都会更忙，不过，这仍然是可以做到的。
社交可不像在公园里散步，有的时候，你会感到尴尬或不舒服，要明白这是一个变化的过程，要愿意改变，不要抱怨。
花时间与擅长社交的人在一起，五个朋友的社交平均值就是你的社交水平，如果你的朋友是害羞的，你也会害羞，如果你的朋友是外向的，随着时间的推移，你也会逐渐变得外向。
有一个能释放你的创造力的爱好，有创造力的人更健谈。
学习提出问题和引导谈话的艺术，这包括在对方说话时倾听他/她的声音，随着时间的推移，你会在这方面做得更好。
不要把人摆在某个高位，当你认识到对方也只是人，而不是某外来物种时，交谈就会变得容易多了。
穿着让你自信的衣服，但并不需要多贵，或者外国品牌什么的。
网络上有无数自我提升类书籍，它们会给你分解社会交往的原则和自信的技巧。
Aasim Jamal
Introvert socialize , this way
1. We prefer hanging out with just one or two other people rather than with a big group.
2. We’d rather talk about big ideas than make small talk.
3. We’d rather have a few close friendships than a lot of surface-level ones.
4. High-energy people drain us.
5. We pause as we’re speaking to gather our thoughts.
6. We have niche interests and we like talking about them.
7. Online friends? The more the merrier.
8. We need to recharge after socializing, even if we’ve had fun.

内向的人的社交活动：
1. 我们更喜欢和一两个人一起出去，而不是和一大群人一起。
2. 我们宁可谈论大的想法，也不愿闲聊。
3. 我们宁愿有少数亲密的朋友关系，也不愿有很多流于表面的朋友关系。
4. 精力充沛的人让我们精疲力竭。
5. 我们在说话的时候会暂停，以整理思绪。
6. 我们有小众的兴趣，我们喜欢谈论它们。
7. 网友? 越多越好。
8. 我们需要在社交后充电，即使我们玩得很开心。
 
Andrew Weill
Decide that you aren’t a label. You are a person with full capability of doing what you resolve to do. Assume that everyone you encounter — including the ones who look the most accomplished and gregarious — are just as uncertain as you are, but have developed strategies to cope with that discomfort.
I was on the Board of a private school. The headmaster was a very charming, persuasive speaker. He often talked about how his essential nature was to be introverted, and that his considerable skill at public appearances was an effort for him. However, he realized that his job required that effort, so he got on with it.
Stop “knowing that you are an introvert.” You’re investing in a label that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Strike up a conversation, ask intelligent questions, and do that most rare and engaging of social activities: listen with interest.

要认识到你不是一个标签，而是一个完全有能力做你决心要做的事的人，要知道你遇到的每一个人--包括那些看起来最有成就、最善于交际的人--都和你一样不都有信心不足的时候，但他们为此制定了应对这种不适的策略。
我曾是一所私立学校的董事会成员，校长是一个非常有魅力、有说服力的演讲者，他经常谈到他的基本天性是内向的，他在公开场合表现出来的相当高超的技巧对他来说是一种艰难的尝试，然而，他意识到他的工作需要这种尝试，所以他继续这种尝试。
不要再说什么 " 我就知道自己是个内向的人"，你正陷于一个标签，而这个标签会成为一个自我实现的预言，开始一段对话，提出聪明的问题，做最难得的、最吸引人的社交活动：有兴趣地倾听。
 
Reniel Vicmudo
Chill on the porch or yard drinking whiskey, sharing life stories, cook up some brisket or some burgers, with your small group or friends..
The way your question is formulated it seems like you are asking “How can I make friends if I am shy or socially awkward” because introverts can be good conversationalist, and smooth talkers, so thats not really a problem.. As an Introvert myself I like social gatherings, alcohol makes a large party tolerable, but I need a atleast a day to myself after..
Best way to make friends is to dont force it, just be yourself be straight forward, be open to friendship, dont talk or bother people who dont want to be bothered..

在你家走廊或院子里整点威士忌，分享些生活故事，和你的小圈子或者朋友一起做个牛腩煲啊汉堡什么的。
看你的问题的表述，你似乎是在问 "如果我害羞或不善于社交，我怎样才能交到朋友"—— 内向的人可以成为很好的交谈者，而且也能很健谈，所以这其实不是一个问题，作为一个内向的人，我喜欢社交聚会，酒精使大型聚会变得可以忍受，但我需要在聚会后至少有个一天属于自己的时间。
结交朋友的最好方法是不要强求，做你自己，坦率，对友谊持开放态度，不要与不想被打扰的人交谈或去打扰他们。
 
Kartik Gajaria
Being an Introvert, you have an advantage over the crowd that some of you might have not noticed yet. Its the advantage of a free mind, totally detached from the chaos in our society.
Now, the social tips that could help an Introvert are right below but lets just all begin with this wonderful quote.
“for you alone are your own friend, and you alone are your own enemy” - Bhagwat Geeta.
Have confidence in yourself. The most important part is to believe in yourself and never rely on anybody to believe in you.
Have something unique to yourself that you may possess. Be it a skill, idea, etc whatever. Once they see that you have what they need, you won’t even have to make the effort.
Try talking to strangers be it on the street, in the park, maybe in the theater, book stores, just do it. I have made many friends out of strangers like that.
We Introverts are really good listeners and that is what today’s chaotic society needs. Be the listener they want you to be, listen to their problems, their sorrows, their happy moments, their story!
Stay upxed with what is happening in the world, be it sports or entertainment, whatever. Its always good to have something to talk about when you run out of your own conversation and you need something to fill that awkward gap.
Pick that damn call! When people call you then make it a habit to call back when you are free. Don’t text them. Remember, text for a text and call for a call.
At last don’t be shy to tell what your thoughts. If you wanna complement somebody then just do it. You’ve got an idea to discuss then get on it!
I hope this helps! If you liked my suggestions then feel free to upvote and follow.

作为一个内向的人，在茫茫人海中你有一个优势，很多人可能还没有注意到，那就是思想自由，完全脱离社会的混乱。
下面的社交小贴士可以帮助内向的人，但是让我们从这句精彩的引用开始吧：
"只有你才是自己的朋友，也只有你是自己的敌人"--巴格瓦特吉塔
对自己要有信心，最重要的是相信自己，不要指望通过其它任何人来获得自信。
拥有一些你可能拥有的独特的东西，不管是技能、想法等等什么，一旦他们看到你有他们需要的东西，你甚至不需要为交朋友做出努力。
试着与陌生人交谈，无论是在街上，在公园，也许在剧院，书店，去做就是了，我就是通过这种与陌生人交谈的方式结识了许多朋友。
我们内向的人是非常好的倾听者，而这正是当今混乱的社会所需要的，人们希望你成为倾听者，倾听他们的问题，倾听他们的悲伤，倾听他们的快乐时光，倾听他们的故事。
随时了解世界上正在发生的事，无论是体育还是娱乐什么的，当你没话讲，当你需要一些东西来填补某些尴尬的空白的时候，有一些东西可以谈论总是好的。
接听那该死的电话! 当人们给你打电话时，请养成好习惯，在你有空时回电——不要给发短信，记住，发短信是发短信，打电话是打电话，两回事。
最后，不要羞于说出你的想法，如果你想补充某人，那就讲出来，如果你有一个想法要讨论，那就讲出来 !
我希望这对你有帮助! 如果你喜欢我的建议，请点赞加关注。
 
Ebisweet
Hi. I saw your question and it struck me. Just wanna share my thoughts on ’em though. Well, to begin with, I think you're a teenager. Pardon me if you're not. And yeah, you'll probably be a girl. But if you're not, it's still good.
An introvert is someone who's quiet and thoughtful and seldom associates with people right? They have a more inward personality. Also, introverts are shy and don't really like talking, have 2 or 3 friends, stuff like that.
I also had this issue but I learnt how to come out of my shell. Well, I have good friends. Friends that have become family over time. That's one point I want to make. Whether you're an introvert or extrovert, you have to be free with your friends because true friends are people who'll be there even when your family isn't there. So you saying you dread friends, well, I would want you to uate that friendship because friends stick closer than brothers.
Also, do what you like doing the most. I love the arts and anything that has to do with music, theater, drawing, public speaking and many more to mention a few. However, I could not speak out, I was too shy. When I get home, I'll sing to myself, talk to a wall and do stuff like that, but when I decided to do what I love doing with all my heart, I started speaking up and socialising with people in my field and also people not in my area of study. That was a great shift!! From being the shy tiny girl sitting at the corner of the glass, I became the STRONG BRILLIANT WOMAN who would not only stand up for herself (because I was also bullied), but became a social butterfly in everyone's eyes because I did what I loved doing, DECIDED to get out of my shell, and bammm, I'm who I am now.
One very shocking experience was my triumph in our school’s prefectoral elections. Since my first year in high school, I always dreamt of being the Head girl (femal senior prefect) Funny for a shy girl like me right? But, now am in my last year and had the elections early before the lockdown. And guess what? I won!!! I did a smooth campaign and this was what I always wanted to do, like I've been saying. I put my mind to it, had good friends and company, became the Moses that was going to lead them to the promise land and eventually I was crowned with success.
So in a nutshell what am I saying, you can come out of your shell. You have to do that thing what you've always wanted to do. Have good company because they go a long way in shaping our lives, and lastly accept the worst tbsing that could go wrong if you talk to people. You know, saying hi in the morning won't kill. And lastly if you want to make friends you have to BE A FRIEND to someone. Smile when talking, ask about how they're doing to start a conversation, like something about them, probably their smile or a character you like in them and use that to build yours. It's gonna be work and take time, but you'd sure reap the rewards.
Well, this is all I can say, fingers hurt. Anyway, it may not be the advise you need (sorry about that), but this is my own opinion, hopefully others can add too. Have a nice day, stay safe and I really do hope you get a thing or two from my veryyyy longggg advise.

嗨，我看到了你的问题，这个问题打动了我，我只是想分享我的一些想法。
好吧，首先，我认为你是一个青少年，如果我猜错了，请见谅，恩，你还可能是个女孩，但如果你不是，那也挺好。
内向的人是指那些安静、体贴、很少与人交往的人，对吧？他们的性格比较内向，另外，内向的人很害羞，不怎么喜欢说话，只有2到3个朋友，诸如此类。
我也有这个问题，但我学会了如何走出来，好吧，我有很多好朋友，随着时间的推移，这些朋友变得如家人一般，这是我想说的一点：无论你是内向还是外向，你都必须与你的朋友自由相处，因为真正的朋友是即使你的家人不在身边也会在你身边的人，所以你说你害怕朋友，那么，我希望你能评估一下这种朋友关系，因为朋友比兄弟更亲密。
另外，做你最喜欢做的事情。我喜欢艺术，喜欢任何与音乐、戏剧、绘画、公开演讲有关的东西，还有很多，我就不一一列举，然而，我就是无法表达出来，因为我太害羞了，当我回到家时，我会对着自己唱歌，对着墙壁说话，做类似的事情，但当我决定全心全意地做我喜欢做的事情时，我就会开始大声说话，与我所在圈子的人交往，也与非我圈子的人交往，这是一个极大的转变！！我从一个坐在角落里的害羞小姑娘，变成了一个坚强、聪明的女人，她不仅会为自己站出来（因为我也被欺负过），而且成为了大家眼中的交际花，因为我做的是我喜欢做的事，我决定走出我的保护壳，然后，pia，我就变成了现在的我。
一个非常令人震惊的经历是我在我们学校的选举中获胜，从我上高中的第一年起，我就一直梦想着成为一个女班长，对我这样一个害羞的女孩来说很有趣，对吧？但是，现在是我学校生活的最后一年，学校在疫情封锁前提前进行了选举，你猜怎么着？我赢了！！！我的竞选很顺利，这是我一直想做的事情，就像我一直说的那样，我用心去做，结交了好朋友和伙伴，成为了引领他们到应许之地的摩西，最终我获得了成功。
简而言之，我所说的就是，你可以从你的保护壳中走出来，你必须去做你一直想做的那件事，去拥有和结交好伙伴，因为他们在塑造我们的生活方面起到的作用非常的大，最后就是，要有接受最坏状况的心理准备，如果你与人交谈，你可能会出错，但你要知道，早上跟人打格招呼是不会死人的，最后的最后，如果你想交朋友，你就必须成为别人的朋友，谈话时面带微笑，询问他们的情况以开始谈话，比如他们身上的一些事情，可能是他们的微笑，你可以告诉他们你喜欢对方的性格，用这些来来建立你的朋友关系，这需要努力和时间，但你肯定会得到回报。
好了，我只能说这么多，字码多了手指很疼，总之，这可能不是你需要的建议（对此很抱歉），这些只表达我个人的观点，希望其他人也能补充，祝你有愉快的一天，保重，我真心希望你能从我的长篇大论中得到一些建议。
 
Takudzwa Razemba
Just do it!
Force yourself if you can.
Get creative and push yourself to extend your boundaries. View each interaction, and each new social setting as a unique challenge, opportunity and adventure to meet new and wonderful people
Speak to one stranger per day! Trust and embrace the unknown!
Focus on the other person. Asking ppl about themselves & being interested makes them think you’re a great conversationalist.
DROP THE ‘INTROVERT’ LABEL ALTOGETHER!
It creates unnecessary walls around people who want to be social with you.
BE open to other people's ideas and opinions.
Remind yourself that every person is really in the same boat as a human being looking to share those same unique and special human connections with others.
After all, that’s what life is really about.

尽管去做！
如果可以的话，强迫自己去做。
发挥创造力，推动自己去拓展自己的极限，把每一次互动和每一个新的社交环境看作是一次独特的挑战、机会和冒险，去结识新的、美好的人。
每天和一个陌生人交谈 ! 信任并拥抱未知！
关注对方，询问别人的情况，并表示感兴趣，这会让他们认为你是一个非常健谈的人。
完全抛去“内向”的标签！它给那些想和你交往的人制造了不必要的隔阂。
对别人的想法和意见持开放态度。
提醒自己，每个人其实都是在同一条船上的人，都在寻找与他人分享那些独特和特殊的人际关系。
毕竟，这就是生活的真谛。
 
Shambhavi Tripathi
Introverts are very good at what and who they are. Even i am an introvert and i don't feel that i require any social tip fir that. But still if you are asking tips then go through points below-
-People are going to ask you at every stage “why do you speak so less?” , dear you need to be confident to reply. Be confident and stay happy that you are an introvert.
-Some of them will also say that being introvert won't help you in this time period. Hear it and forget it, a serious advice of mine. Being introvert does not mean being a fool. I have faced it too. Trust me introverts are too good at decision making and this factor is basic requirement to face every problem.
-Do not keep silent when someone tries to dominate you. SPEAK UP or they are going to dominate you more.
Be what you are. No tips are going to help you. Introverts you need to be confident for what you are. It's okay. Every one has their own nature.
Hope i could help you somehow with my answer. :)
So people if you think i am asking you to be rude to someone then NO. Being confident means you have to speak up what you feel. You don't have to be rude.

内向的人非常擅长一点，那就是他们知道自己是谁，我就是一个内向的人，然而我并不觉得我需要什么社交技巧，但是，如果你一定要问技巧的话，可以参看以下几点：
- 人们在每个阶段都会问你 "为什么你说话这么少"？亲，你需要自信的回答，要有信心，并为自己是个内向的人而高兴。
- 他们中的一些人还会说，在某个阶段，内向对你没有帮助——听听就好，听完就忘掉，这是我的一个严肃的建议，性格内向并不意味着你傻，我也曾面对过这个问题，相信我，内向的人非常善于做决定，而这一点是勇于面对一切问题的基本和必要的条件。
- 当有人试图支配你时，不要保持沉默，要大声说出来，否则他们会更多地支配你。
- 做你该做的事，任何技巧都无法帮助你，内向的人，你需要对自己有信心，这没关系，每个人都有自己的天性。
希望我的回答能在某种程度上帮助你。 : )
恩，如果你认为我是在要求你对别人无礼，那你就误会了，不，不是，自信意味着你必须说出你的感受，你并不需要变得无礼。
 
Sharon Barke
I’ll weigh in with a short(er) answer.
The quality of conversations held, and of people’s perceptions of me (that I’m weird, a snob, quiet, etc.) all changed when I started to verbalize my communication style and needs.
For example, at a loud party I might say something like, “I would like to keep chatting, but it’s taking all my energy to try and hear you over the noise. I would be much more energized if we could chat outside?”
Or, if I feel comfortable enough with someone who is more extroverted, I would say, “I have lots to say and great ideas, but I have a difficult time being heard over others talking, so I eventually stop trying and shut down. Would you help bring me into the conversation from time to time?”
I have told my co-workers that when they ask me to fix a problem, my face isn’t in sync with what I’m thinking. That I may be giving them a dumb stare like I’m not comprehending their question, but I’m actually already busy deep in my mind, resolving their issue. Can joke about it as “resting bitch face”. And since my explanation resonates with them, I have had no more weird interactions.
The look of relief and understanding that crosses a person’s face, like they just figured out one of life’s great mysteries…ha ha

我来简短的回答一下。
当我开始用语言表达自己的交流方式和需求时，谈话的质量和人们对我的看法（认为我很奇怪，很自命不凡，很沉默寡言，等等）都改变了。
例如，在一个喧闹的聚会上，我可能会说这样的话: “我想继续聊天，但在一片嘈杂声中很难听清楚你说什么，如果我们能在外面聊天，我会更有热情。”
或者，如果我觉得和更加外向的人在一起很舒服，我会说，“我有很多话要说，也有很棒的想法，但是我很难被别人听到，所以我就不做尝试了，我不多说，你能不能时不时地把我带到谈话中来?”
我告诉我的同事，当他们让我解决一个问题时，我的表情和我的想法不一致，我可能会傻乎乎地盯着他们看，好像我不理解他们的问题，但实际上我已经在内心深处忙着解决他们的问题了，用句玩笑话话说，就是我“天生一副臭脸”，而自从我和他们解释清楚后，我就再也没有过奇怪的互动了，此时一种释然和理解的表情掠过一个人的脸上，就好像他们刚刚解开了生命中最大的谜团之一一样...... 哈哈
 
Devon Patrick
Look up “extroverted” and do that. Lol
Don’t put yourself in a box for one. And just go out and live your life the way you want to. People will fall into place. Opportunity will find you and you will have to recognize it and go for it. Do you want to be more social or do you want to find a tight friend group like we see in tv shows? What about “being social” do you actually want? Once you figure out specifically what you want then you can step towards making it happen.
But the only reasons I can think of for you to want to be more social is to either make friends or find a significant other. Soo go out and talk to people while doing what you love. Do you like museums? Talk to the person next you looking at the same thing you are.
But be interested. If you aren’t interested in a person then you will show it and you won’t enjoy the conversation either. So either be interested in the person or what the person has to say. And if not then don’t talk to the person. But if the person is talking to you then give the person a chance. You never know what may happen.
Also prepare for people to be rude to you. It will happen. There are more people who are uncomfortable talking to strangers than vice versa especially these days. And you will remember the few rude people over the many polite people you interact with. That’s just how the human brain works. It tries to correct mistakes for the future.

不要把自己困在一个盒子里，要走出去，按照你想要的方式生活，人们就会各就各位，机会就会找到你，你必须认识到这一点，然后去争取。
你是想变得更加社交化，还是像我们在电视节目中看到的那样找到一个紧密的朋友圈？你真正想要的“社交”是什么？一旦你明确了你想要什么，那么你就可以朝着实现它的方向迈进。
但是我能想到的你想要更多社交的唯一原因是交朋友或者找一个重要的人，所以请出去和人们交谈，同时做你喜欢的事情，你喜欢博物馆吗？和你旁边看着同样东西的人去交谈。
但是要有兴趣，如果你对一个人不感兴趣，那么你就会表现出来，而且你也不会享受交谈，所以，要么对这个人感兴趣，要么对这个人说的话感兴趣，如果都没有，那就不要和对方说话，但是如果对方正在和你说话，那么就给对方一个机会，你永远不知道会发生什么。
还要准备好接受别人对你的无礼，这是会发生的，现在很多人并不愿意和陌生人说话，反之亦然，你会记得少数几个粗鲁的人，而不是和你打交道的许多有礼貌的人，因为这就是人类大脑的工作方式，它试图为未来纠错。
 
Lisa Kirk
Don't put so much pressure on yourself to change.
If you're a natural introvert, embrace that quality. I've learned that accepting myself, the whole package.
There are an infinite amount of personalities out there; figure out what yours is and get comfortable with it.
Once you're comfortable with who you are, just as you are, you'll find that you're comfortable around other people.

不要为了改变给自己太多的压力。
如果你是一个天生内向的人，请接受这种品质，我就已经知道并学会了接受自己，接受自己的全部。
世界上有无数种个性，弄清楚你的个性是什么，并适应它。
一旦你适应了自己，并安然接受，做你自己，你就会发现和别人在一起也很舒服。
 
Susan Steele
The myth that introverts are loners and anti-social still pervade our society.
Introversion and extroversion are more properly defined by denoting where a person gets their energy. While extroverts are energized by being with others and thinking out loud, introverts prefer to do their thinking alone and often limit their social interaction.
But it’s also really important to remember that introversion and extroversion are measured on a scale. No one is all introvert or all extrovert. Introverts can be as social as anyone else; but he or she may require extra time to recharge from that activity. Just as an extrovert would recover from too much time alone by seeking company.
Just because labels and myths exist does not mean that they are true.

内向者是孤独者和反社会者的神话仍然在我们的社会中弥漫。
内向和外向更恰当地定义是一个人从哪里获得能量，外向的人会因为和别人在一起和大声讨论来获得能量，而内向的人更喜欢独自思考，通常这会限制他们的社交互动。
但同样重要的是要记住，内向和外向是有尺度衡量的，没有人是完全内向或完全外向的，内向者可以和其他人一样善于社交，但他或她可能需要额外的时间从这种活动中恢复，就像外向的人在独处太久后会通过寻找同伴来恢复一样。
标签和神话的存在并不意味着它们是真的。